Chris Beaulieu

Seniors at the school I'm at graduate this Friday, and I've just realized how little I've actually taught. You'd think I would have expected this, considering the circumstances under which I was hired, but the whole situation with the previous teacher scared away most of the seniors and left me with just the three in the AP class: Dan, Danny, and Daniel. Don't ask me how that happened with the names. I don't even know. It sounds like something out of a bad sitcom.

I didn't even really teach them. The AP tests started rather soon after I came on, and none of them needed my help studying because they're all nerds and did it themselves. And then afterwards nobody wanted to learn, so we hooked up a Wii and held the world's smallest Brawl tournaments (I love my job). And now they're going off to college and I might never see them again.

Too bad. I ordered a time machine for the computer lab.

Hello, my Scandinavian brothers and sisters. You've got a new Assistant Librarian, and guess what? It's me. In case you don't know me, I'm Chris and I used to be the Ugly Duckling. Fun times.

Here is my best understanding of the job: For the big stuff, you still go to the goose, but I am qualified to help you with your tale quibbles. If you need anything explained or perhaps need a mediator, for example, that's what I'm here to do. (It's not on the job description, but you can also contact me, should ever want a tale fiddling with your electronics. I have more experience dealing with computer issues than anything else.)

To finish, if you need to find me, all you really have to do is look for the guy with the dyed black hair who is probably too old to be wearing skinny jeans but is wearing them anyway. Chances are that's yours truly. If not, please tell him to stop crimping my style.

Tell me about yourselves?

Here's the story: Ubi was going to transfer me again. To North Carolina. I don't know anyone in North Carolina. What's even in North Carolina? It'd be different if I were going back to Québec City or Montréal, or even some place in Europe.

Thus, my resignation is now pending, and I'm moving on to a bigger pond, so to speak. A lot of very sophisticated programming goes into game design, and you would think ten years in the video game industry gives me emough computer industry experience for most programming positions. I could even do other tech positions. Unfortunately, Craigslist has failed me. Am I not geeky enough to join the Geek Squad?

I'm trying Monster.

About 4 p.m. Easter Sunday.

Why are we in Ottawa?

Spend Easter Weekend in Montreal with my Roman Catholic Family

OR

Go to that Big Tale Wedding that everybody is talking about

Choices, choices.

( Picture taped into Compendium )
I'd just turned twenty. That was fourteen years ago. Crisse, j'étais jeune.

Do you ever feel like you're at a place in your life where you're not moving? Like you're standing still while everyone around you speeds past?

I did, so I downloaded a citizenship application. I don't know what that would change, but it's something.

Used to be that I was flattered when people told me I didn't sound French. I thought it meant that I had a good American accent. Somebody from work found the YouTube video from the South Park episode when they went to Canada and, crisse, did they get it wrong. Just look up "South Park French Canada" in the YouTube search box and you'll find it.

The kids talk to a mime, an artiste, and a hockey player about wine. The hockey player is alright. I even played hockey as a kid, but what really got me was that everyone in the video sounds like they've come straight from Pair-ee. Apparently, I could be wrong about my accent. I don't sound like what they think a native French person would sound like, but that doesn't mean I sound good.

But South Park did get on thing right! It is true that there's no Canada like French Canada.

My legs, are they great or are they great?

Leo, I offer you my deepest apologies for that collection of awkward moments last night. I'm not gay, I swear.

There were four separate school shootings in the news recently: On the eighth, a nursing student shot two women and then herself in Baton Rouge; a kid in Memphis shot another student in the school gym; a fourteen year old in California committed a premeditated and deadly hate crime against a gay student; and in the most recent one at Northern Illinois University, a student with no record of behavioral problems shot 21 students, killing five, before turning the gun on himself.

This is in addition to the psychologist stabbings here in New York. Fuck, it has been a bad week.

I just saw Cloverfield last night. It left me wondering: why New York City? When was the last time a monster attacked Topeka? Or Montreal?

ALSO UNDER HEAVY CONSTRUCTION. Notice the pattern of oldest character and then newest. Haha.

( PAST INCARNATIONS )

( STORYLINES )

( One is the loneliest number! )